My Boss Is Lazy, Forgetful, and Uninspiring

Growing up in a developing country with limited opportunities, my mom always said, “If you are going to do something, give it your best, even when no one is watching.” She also used to say, “Hard work will get you places.” I’ve always stuck to those mottos in my professional journey. But my most recent boss came into my life to test me to my very core. 

I work as a marketing executive in the hospitality industry for one of the most influential resorts in Central America. I have been working with my current boss for about three years, and she is the sad inspiration behind this story. I did not always have the same boss or anxiety to work under someone content with the bare minimum. After almost two years in a management position, I felt accomplished. I worked for a fabulous resort chain, earned a decent amount of money, and had great co-workers. At least, that’s what  I tell myself repeatedly to try to compensate for my boss’ lack of management skills. 

In my first month as a new young manager, my dislike and disapproval toward my boss grew. I began full of creative ideas to lead the team and help position the resort on the world map. As part of my new role, I would oversee one marketing associate's work, guide her to help achieve the annual goals, review her drafts before they went live, and continue to execute many tasks that stemmed from my previous role—anything communications-related. 

When the new hire came into the office, my boss said, "Anything that you don't want to do, give it to the new one." I felt my heart pumping blood faster, and the heat grew more assertive. I went home that day thinking maybe she saw me similarly: I existed on the team to execute the tasks she did not want to do.

These feelings of discontent are building up inside me like cancer. I am afraid someday I may explode.

Months went by, and I continued to live by the mottos my mom had taught me —even if my boss did not see it. I was the type of employee who would stay in the office past 7 p.m. to make sure the product campaigns were complete and on-brand, even when that meant no extra hours would be compensated or acknowledged by my direct supervisor. 

I began noticing how I would clock in every day at 8 am and out at 7 pm, while my boss would arrive at 9:30 am and leave before 4 pm. She would say, "I have a doctor's appointment," "I am not feeling well," or "Something happened to my cat" daily. I felt guilty for comparing her work schedule to mine, but at the same time, we were obligated by law to clock the same amount of hours. 

I began to get angry when she would say she’d  do things "at home" to justify leaving earlier; the next day, she would say, "I forgot to do it, but I will do it today." This felt like a cold bucket of ice dropped on me on a Sunday morning. It was cruel to me and others that she was not upholding the company's values and the most basic ethical standards. I have never said this to her face, not even during one-on-ones or performance reviews, because how could I approach this nicely? And more importantly, how could I not get fired for doing so? And why should I be following up with her tasks when she is the boss?

I try to vent to my friends, because otherwise, I will choke. These feelings of discontent are building up inside me like cancer. I am afraid someday I may explode. As a person, my boss is great: She lets you take sick days without feeling guilty, she checks in about your weekend, and when she feels in the mood, she steps up and is capable. The problem is that she doesn’t show up for her team. With her, it’s more like a once-in-a-while occasion. 

Here’s a sample Monday at my job: I have to brace myself with patience and a strong poker face because every Monday at 9am, she is not ready for our one-on-one meeting. she asks, “Can you give me ten more minutes?” she asks. “I need to send an email.” Later, she says, “Sorry, I did not have time to prepare for the meeting. Do you mind reviewing your list first?” After careful points raised by me, she says, “Oh yes, I had that on my list to discuss today.” At that point, 30 minutes into the meeting, I start praying:

“And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil.”

After that prayer, I have about an hour to decompress over lunch right before another meeting with the whole team. This meeting can go two ways: She either did not prepare and will let us know with the usual “I did not have time to prepare for the meeting,” or she did not prepare and will say, “I don’t have anything to add, you can begin with your updates for the week.” After we are all done talking about our updates, I usually get emails from her asking for short turnover times because she forgot to communicate with me about the specific task. 

I feel stressed and disappointed that this has become my work environment. Every week, I am either anxious due to lack of planning and communication, or mad that I haven’t found a different job. What gets me into this spiral of distress is that I love what I do, my team, and the company. Having an uninspiring, unassertive, irresponsible, and careless boss strips me of my passion and motivation to improve and be the best version of myself. It feels like we are all on a canoe, each with a paddle, but the person leading us is lost. 

I began attending mass more often. There is someone who will listen. My boss has brought me closer to God; I thank her for that. I prepare my armor on Sundays, and hope that the coming week will be better than the last one. When the clock hits 9pm, I make my bed and crawl to my dreams to put my anxiety to bed. Then Monday starts again, and my boss is there to remind me of my mottos.