My Best Friend Ghosted Me After a Failed Threesome

My best friend Taylor and I had been in each other’s lives since we met in second grade. From chasing each other on the playground to boyfriends and breakups to moving out of our parents’ homes, we had witnessed each other’s life milestones. Despite spending four years apart in high school when we went off to different schools, we remained close. It seemed we were destined to be friends for life. Until she started dating Andy. 

At first, I thought she was just having a fun fling as he seemed like a casual, flirty type. However, as time went on, they became more serious. They started spending more time together, going on out-of-town trips and meeting each other’s friends. As I was Taylor’s best friend, Andy and I started becoming more acquainted with each other. 

One day when Taylor and I had met up with some mutual friends, we took a selfie together and she sent it to Andy. He responded with an eggplant emoji followed by one word: “threesome.” When she showed me his response, I was appalled. I thought it was disrespectful for him to suggest such a thing with his girlfriend, but Taylor didn’t seem upset. In fact, she was amused and said it was all in jest. Since she didn’t take it seriously, neither did I and we moved on.

One evening two months later, Taylor invited me over to Andy’s house to hang out with them. I didn’t think much of it as it was something we had done a couple of times before. I got there excited to have a night of good times playing card games while having some drinks.  

I decided to give us some space and let things eventually return to normal. Except they never did.

But this time around, I found myself in a bizarre situation. After I lost a round of poker, Taylor reached out to tickle me. Then Andy joined in and they were both tickling me. This was something that had never happened before and, feeling uncomfortable, I quickly pulled myself away. We continued on with the games, but Taylor started disappearing from the living room quite often. The first time I barely noticed; I assumed she had gone to the bathroom. The second time, though, Andy inched closer to me on the couch and touched my thigh. This happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to respond before Taylor abruptly returned. Andy didn’t move back to his original position but removed his hand from my thigh and pretended like nothing had happened. 

My initial thought was that Andy was just being a sleazebag, and I made a mental note to tell him off the next time Taylor went to the bathroom. This moment eventually arrived, and once Taylor was out of earshot, I turned to give him a piece of my mind. However, Andy was already prepared with his next move. He grabbed my face and kissed me. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I smacked him as I pulled away and was hurling insults at him when he told me that Taylor was aware and okay with it. I didn’t believe him; I thought he was just taking advantage of her absence to make moves on me, and I quickly moved to the carpet to create distance between us. Taylor eventually returned and we carried on with our game night. She inquired why I was on the floor and I mumbled something about needing to stretch my legs. 

A few minutes later, Taylor joined me on the carpet. I thought nothing of it until Andy started rubbing both of our necks. I pushed his hand away but he continued with his advances. Then Taylor left the living room to “go get more ice.”  This time, her absence was for quite an extended period of time. Andy asked me to come join him on the couch and when I refused, he started tickling me again. I was really annoyed at this point and called him out again, but he once again mentioned that Taylor was aware and was waiting for us to “warm up” before she joined us. 

At this point, I started to believe Andy as I noticed how often she had disappeared throughout the night, each exit lasting longer than the previous one. Taylor ended up leaving the room about seven times and every time she did, Andy’s advances got more aggressive. At one point, he even unzipped his pants and asked me to suck his erect member ( I didn’t). Eventually it was clear that the threesome was something they had actually spoken about and agreed on. Feeling uncomfortable with the situation, I excused myself and left. 

A week later, I met up with Taylor and asked her what happened that night, and if she and Andy had intended to have a threesome. She vehemently denied that anything had been planned and quickly changed the subject. There was a sudden tension in the air and the rest of our hangout was awkward. When we parted ways, I decided to give us some space and let things eventually return to normal. Except they never did. After that ordeal, any time we’d hang out, I would feel her being cold and distant. I tried to address the fact that we were drifting apart, but she said that she was just preoccupied with work. Eventually, she stopped calling or responding to my texts. We haven’t seen each other in over a year now.  

I always thought our friendship was rock solid and that no one could come between us. To know that it ended because of a failed threesome is perplexing. Sometimes I miss Taylor but most of the time, I’m angry at her. I feel like she had no regard for our friendship and placed little importance on it if she could let it go so easily. And she ended up marrying that sleazebag. I attended the wedding but I wasn’t even on the lineup as one of her bridesmaids. That part really hurt. 

Some of our mutual friends have asked what happened between us; I often tell them that we just grew apart. They know it’s a lie, but I can't offer them the truth, because I don’t know it, either. One day, I hope I’ll be able to give myself the closure I never received.