My Parents Pressured Me to Get an Abortion: I Didn't Do It

When I was a senior in high school, I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't expecting that. I was only 16 years old.When my parents got the news, they immediately started talking about abortion. There was really no other option in their heads. They told me that having a kid would ruin my life. My dad was away for work when he found out. My mom had called him, and when my mom handed me the phone, the first thing he said was that he was making an appointment for me at an abortion clinic. “Go and listen to this woman. Hear what she has to say,” he said. That's the only doctor's appointment my dad has ever made for me in my life. The following day, my mom drove me to the clinic. The lady left my mom in the waiting room and brought me back. As I was sitting down, I told her that I was against abortion when it comes to myself, so don't even try to put any words in my head or make me go that route. “That's not what I want,” I told her. “I'm just here to please my parents.” Which is a waste of time. That was the shortest doctor's appointment I've ever been to. Afterward, my mom drove me home in silence.

Having a 16-year-old daughter get pregnant would make them look bad. They don't like looking bad. It was embarrassing to them.

My Parents Made an Appointment at an Abortion Clinic Without My Consent

I didn’t know how to take my parents pushing me this way. All these adults were trying to make decisions for me, and standing up to them was rough. Another reason why they pushed it was that to my parents, having a 16-year-old daughter get pregnant would make them look bad. They don't like looking bad. It was embarrassing to them. Abortion had never crossed my mind until I found myself in that position. I was against it, but only when it came to my body. If someone else is in the same situation and wants to get an abortion, by all means, they should have that right. We should all be able to make our own choices with our bodies. When I became pregnant, “choice” was a word I heard a lot. I was only 16, and it was my choice to make this kid. It was not this kid's fault. Maybe she was only a seed at the time, but the idea of getting an abortion didn't sit right with me. I knew if I got it, I'd regret it.Even after taking me to that appointment, my parents still tried to push me to get an abortion. They hated whenever anyone else talked about me being pregnant. There was a point where I ended up packing all my stuff up and moving in with my grandpa. I just couldn't handle it anymore. When I got pregnant, they punished me—they took my phone and my car—which was just crazy to me because I was already pregnant. I don't know what they were trying to do, but it had already happened. It was really rough. I wouldn't have expected less from them though. My parents aren't religious, but they were strict with me when I was growing up. I wasn't allowed to sleep over at any of my friends' houses. My parents think material things are the same as love. They think that because they gave me everything I asked for growing up, that I was well taken care of. They thought that was everything. And it's not. Now that I'm a parent, it affects me more. That's not love. My daughter knows she's loved because I tell her. Material things aren't everything.

What My Parents Didn't Realize: I'm an Independent Woman

They weren't really about the boyfriend thing either. They knew about him and where I was every day, whenever I got together with him. But I was already pretty independent by the time I got pregnant. I've been working since I was 15 years old. I had a really good job at the district attorney's office, and I worked there until the end of my pregnancy. My boyfriend didn't have a job though. He was a bum, at home every day smoking weed. His family wasn't so helpful to him. At the beginning of me finding out I was pregnant, he was living under a bridge because his sister had kicked him out. His mom wasn't really in his life. It was just a big old mess.He came with me when I moved in with my grandpa. We were basically just hopping from house to house. Eventually, my parents ended up letting him move in with us. It took a lot for them to do that, but again, what could they do? I was already pregnant. They helped out a lot. They helped my boyfriend get a license. They paid for his driving classes. He ended up getting a job, and a lot changed. His daughter and I gave him the motivation he didn't have before. He just needed that help. He'd never had it, which is why he was a bum.I knew getting pregnant was shocking to my parents. But the way they handled it was to jump straight to me getting an abortion, instead of sitting me down and talking through all the options with me and making sure I knew what might happen with each. Thankfully, I had a say with my own body. My parents didn't have control over what I did with it.

I had a say with my own body. My parents didn't have control over what I did with it.

Not Aborting My Teenage Pregnancy Was the Best Decision I've Ever Made

I know I would have regretted having an abortion. Having my daughter was life-changing for me. It may sound crazy, but that was the greatest thing that could have happened to me. Her dad and I have both grown so much since then, all in good ways. Now he's a supervisor at his job. We're on our second baby. We're living on our own. Life is great. Now I think my mom loves my kids’ dad more than she loves me. My dad still makes comments to this day that I “ruined my life.” I don't think that he means to intentionally, but whenever he's talking to my younger sisters, he'll say, “Don't go and ruin your life like she did.” It still bothers me. I'm 21 now, and you'd think he'd be proud of me. My life has gotten way better since I had my daughter.Not everybody's story ends like mine, especially anyone getting pregnant at 16. But my daughter's 4 now, and I still look at her like, “Wow, this is what they wanted me to kill. They wanted me to get rid of her.” And now they love her to death. It's just so crazy to me how my daughter loves my mom. One day, I really want to tell her the story, but I have mixed emotions about it. I don't know how it'll make her feel or if it'll change her relationship with my mom. But I think if she were to ever be in the situation I found myself in, I would let her know what my parents were trying to do with me. I'd let her have the choices that my parents didn't let me have.